dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
