I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
