you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
