If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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