terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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