I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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