New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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