can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
