return my video game
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Randomize
