I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
