We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
