All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
