The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Where is the hickey?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
