and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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