doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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