the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
