I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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