Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
