dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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