I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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