I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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