You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
