i barfeds in our rink
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
