Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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