Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
