i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
