He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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