i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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