Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
