Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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