We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
