so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
