Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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