My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
