Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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