Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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