Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
