I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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