I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
