dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just saw a hot homeless man
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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