I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
