im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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