I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
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