Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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