some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
