lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
