Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
