Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
