Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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