Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
